we are home...

It is so wonderful to be back home. Owen was given his chemo and we were released this afternoon. He is exhausted but getting back to his normal self. When we got home he snoozed for a couple hours and then spent the rest of the evening walking around and being smothered by his brother who missed him tremendously. Very thankful for the continuation of the Jewish New Year...no school again tomorrow, Joey is bummed because although he had off today, he has school tomorrow. Owen and I are going to relax at home, other than a physical therapy and speech therapy (feeding consult) in the afternoon, I am hoping it will be a pretty uneventful day.

in for 36 hours...thankfully just a head cold

Owen was admitted at CHOP for a fever on Sunday. Turns out it is just a head cold but they will hold him 36-48 hours for observation. At this point if everything continues to go well he should get his chemo in the morning and then they will release him. Last night he was up the majority of the night, hard to sleep with all those tubes connected to your chest...but tonight he is sleeping well...and I am up. We are in the transplant wing of the main building, the closest room open to the oncology unit in which there were no rooms available Sunday night. Our window overlooks the emergency room and I am amazed by the amount of children and parents that are always in the waiting room, especially in the evenings. It is quite a busy place. I guess you get used to it but I find it super hard to sleep here, I have graded all the school work I brought with me, read a magazine and am now working on a novel Joe's mom bought for me but I am a little bored and can't wait to get out of here. The transplant wing of course is filled with patients that will be here for a while. Their doors and windows are colorfully decorated with their names and well wishes. Like I said I guess you get used to staying here...but after 24 hours I start to get a little stir crazy. Aimee always laughs because she is such a home body and she says that I love to be on the go. I tend to try and argue with her, I like to be at home, but that isn't really true. Even in the summer when I am not working, the boys and I are constantly moving. There was about 3-4 days in July when the truck was being worked on and I figured we would just hang at home, not go anywhere...but Joey and I must have pushed Owen in the jogger stoller over 6 miles those days walking down into town for coffee and bagels and to the pool. I am pretty sure I am also raising boys to be just like me...Joey loves a plan (what are we doing next) and Owen in a low gutteral voice asks for the truck or lately "car" each morning. I get why Aimee loves being at home and Becky's ( a close friend that lives in Erie) life of a slower pace has always appealed to me but I just can't seem to do it...So Owen and I are ready to bust on out of here. He has gotten pretty good at saying door, car and bye-bye to the nurses that are in and out of the room. I love including pictures on the blog and I obviously have no way of doing that tonight...but I took a sweet shot of Owen in his cage like crib...can't wait to spring him outta here...

Race Day...

I can't yet find the words to capture my feelings and the complete experience of being in a race with over 16,000 people...I'll try by just expressing grateful I am for the support I had from my family, dad...you did an amazing job it was so exciting to start off running with you and seeing your strong finish, mom...excited and bubbling over, eager to volunteer and have Joey right there by your side, Aimee...I thought you were nuts to join us after Camporee at a 5am pick up just to hang out and wait before the race even started but my race would not have been the same without you...I need you by my side---lets just leave it at that (I have to teach today and can't start off all mushy),Joey and Owen...my two funny guys, everyone on the NF team just loved watching you play around, Joe...as I turned the corner to the finish seeing you standing there with Owen in your arms pushed me to finish strong...

It was an amazing day, a huge accomplishment and it made me want more, well as soon as I heal...

Enough THANKS couldn't be given for all of your support and donations to my fundraising efforts and the Children's Tumor Foundation. On Saturday night at the NF endurance team pasta dinner I recieved an award for fundraising. I must say I didn't do much...I really only thought I would raise $1,000. But all of you helped to raise over $6,000 and I still have donations to mail in...At the spaghetti dinner we saw a film about NF research and it really hit me that Owen needs this research...he needs this foundation to find a cure, so THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for all of your support.

I'll post more later, maybe at 4am...

my thoughts seem to flow better...

no sleep 'til RACEDAY...

It is 4 am and I can't sleep. It is funny because for the past week I have been setting the alarm for 4:30 to make sure I get to the gym to run. The whole week, I haven't been able to drag myself out of bed. But today I am up...nervous, excited, feeling somewhat sick about race day.

I will be up the same time tomorrow getting ready to leave at 5am for the big race...I woke up this morning thinking...knowing I haven't done enough to prepare for the race. Throughout the summer I trained, was reading article after article about running...totally getting into the whole idea of running a half marathon. For the past month, it feels like I have done nothing. Don't get me wrong, I have been exercising...but it's been different, like I am dragging myself through every workout. I know a lot of it has been because I am back to work full time and with Owen back at CHOP every week and Joey with school and football...but lying in bed this morning I couldn't help wondering if I sabotage myself. I think I do this. I think when I get close to a goal I do things to make sure I don't reach it. Not with everything, but with somethings I go full force ahead until I just about get to the end and then stop. Aim...if you are awake, you are really good at these things...you probably know why I do this. I also know I am anxious about meeting everyone tonight at the NF team spaghetti dinner. There are about 100 of us running for the NF team in efforts to raise money for the Children's Tumor Foundation. I am looking forward to meeting people that live with NF, since I haven't met many...most of the parents I meet at CHOP, their children are going through chemo just like Owen, but for many different reasons. I think it is going to be very good to meet families and people with NF, but I also think it is going to be very emotional. It is probably the emotional kick in the butt that I need to get past this whole stopping before I get to my goal thing.

I know I set out to blog about my kids...but I just needed to rant...thanks...I will surely post after the race tomorrow. On a lighter note Owen had his first "car" shopping cart ride last night. Between that and the lollipop he had at the bank, he was a giggling maniac. Funny Joey quotes over the past couple days, "Barack Obama needs to win...he has a smile on his face everyday I see him." My mom thinks maybe he is watching too much t.v. Another...after his teacher calls to leave us a message about his first 2nd grade "break-down" ..."why does my brain do that?"

I shared these Joey-isms with my students and they were cracking up...the next day at school they asked for more Joey stories. I think I am beginning to fall in love with my class.

Past few days...

I walk in the door at 9pm after Back to School Night to find Joe asleep on the couch (exhausted after the draining, heart- wrenching loss last night), Owen asleep in his crib(so missed seeing him all day) and Joey laying on the sunroom floor wearing Joe's Dawkins jersey pretending to be asleep...but quietly giggling at a cartoon. After "sending" Joe to bed, Joey and I get started on the homework he thought he'd get away with not doing tonight...sitting on the kitchen floor Joey eating a brownie, me a helping of Aimee's yummy Tuesday night dinner (love you for it). Gotta love getting into the swing of being "back to school."

So backtracking over the past few days...

Owen's treatment went well yesterday. It was actually a really good day. He had physical therapy in the morning and he has shown progress in the last couple weeks. Our appt. at CHOP was for 10:30 and we made it downtown in an hour, it is amazing how fast you can get there when there is no traffic! It was a pretty quiet day in oncology so we smoothly sailed from one "checkpoint" to the next without any terribly long wait time. Even the pharmacy had Owen's meds ready when we checked into the day hospital, which I think is a first. The past two weeks Owen has refused to relax and take a nap until we head home in the truck at the end of the day so I was dreading the prospect of entertaining him for hours as he has to sit to get his meds. He still didn't nap but he played with his toys for the entire treatment without fussing to "get down"...a big accomplishment.

Football Sunday!!! Watching Joey make his first big tackle gave me an overwhelming sense of pride (and relief---I think he is starting to "get it.") I totally understand how parents get completely engrossed in these games! It was such a hot day and the opposing team STOMPED our team...but all the boys (including Joey) put their ALL out there on the field. So cool!

We made it through the first week...

Pics from the first day of school...it was a slow start but we made it through. Joey seems to like his class and teacher. Owen is adjusting well from going to Aunt Aimee's house, Daddy and Grandma's work and Me-Ma's house.

A Labor Day post...a few days later

It's hard to believe that Labor Day was just Monday. It seems like weeks ago. After a few days running around, picking up last minute things for school, writing plans and still working on house projects, we took Labor Day "off" and just enjoyed our "last" day of summer. Joey and I camped out in the backyard Sunday night...so nice to spend some quiet time talking with him before he fell asleep. Joey went to play at a neighborhood kid's house in the morning and then we spent the rest of the day at the pool. Over the weekend, twice Joey took off running (shoeless) after two different boys. The first time he saw a boy he didn't know walking down the street with a fishing pole and tackle box. He ran off to ask him about the fishing pole and disappeared down the road past a lawn truck and out of view. Owen and I found him down by the creek at the end of the street. The boy had just caught a fish and was showing Joey how to reel it in. The following day he saw his friend, Austin go by on a motorized "kid-quad" and ran after him. We had a talk the day before about how he needs to talk to me about where he is going so he did come back this time and ask if he could go to Austin's house. It hit me that he isn't a little kid anymore....it made me happy that he still wants to do things like camp out in the backyard together. It'll be very hard for me when he decides he rather have a friend sleep over...

little helpers

5 hours! On Friday my two little monkeys helped me out in my classroom for 5 hours! They were so good...mind you I think I would have been finished what I needed to do in two hours...but we got it done. Joey is so good at entertaining his brother.